In keeping with one of the habits I want to form this year (read about my habits for 2016 here) I decided to post twice in one day. Unheard of, I know! The idea for this poem came to me yesterday while we were driving to Taubaté to worship with the saints there. I didn’t have time to really get into it until last night. This is the first poem I’ve written in years and it’s the first one I’ve tried in free form. I hope you enjoy it.
By Leila Jean M.
My sweet dreams are haunted by a smile.
The smile that brought me joy, never bitterness.
The smile of quiet resolve and big dreams.
The smile that refused to give up on us,
Until I gave up on it.
The smile that I pushed away.
My big dreams are taunted by the smile.
Had I foreseen my bitter experience
I would have held on tighter to the smile.
No light at the end of the long tunnel.
The smile saw it, but not me.
Now-too late-I see the light.
My sad dreams are consoled by the smile.
I fear it is too late for the smile and me.
But I still dream of what I wish could be
But probably will never come to pass.
Longings that won’t be fulfilled.
Wonderings won’t be satisfied.
All my dreams are consumed by the smile.
Will God someday grant me peace without the smile?
Can I live the rest of my life knowing
I lost my love because of my choices?
Find a better smile for me?
I don’t think that’s possible.
For now, my dreams are haunted by the smile.