Well, that’s that. First year of college is done. No more school work for three months! Almost seems too good to be true. On the other hand, I do miss my boyfriend and my friends. It also feels weird being back in Mount Juliet for so long and knowing that I’ll be here for awhile. It’s a whole new situation that I never experienced before. It’s weird, but I like it. Since I’m working as a nanny for the summer I will have a pretty set schedule(with some exceptions) for work, but I know it’s temporary. There’s an end to it. Oddly enough, I like knowing that. I know what I’m working toward. I’m sure I’ll be sad to leave the babies at the end of the summer though.
This past week has brought on a roller coaster of emotions as I had to leave my boyfriend and friends, my parents left to go home, and Sisinlaw V has left for a work trip! Yet today, as I sit outside on the swing in the shade, my heart is very peaceful and content. I know the next few weeks are going to be busy and hard even, but I know I can do it and I know it’s not for forever. I am well aware where that peace is coming from. It’s definitely not coming from within me. The Lord has been gracious to calm my heart. He is giving me the ability to enjoy today.
The Wednesday night Bible class I went to the other night was studying the book of James. At one point in the discussion we were talking about living in the moment and how we’re not guaranteed tomorrow(James 4:13-17). I kept dwelling on that the next day. Then this morning I saw a post on Facebook that said something to the effect of always dying to be doing the next thing in life, always dying to do the next thing while missing out what is going on now. Eventually this person led a life in which they forgot to live. I don’t want to forget to live. I’m a planner. I’m always thinking ahead. I’m always thinking about how I can reach my goals faster. I want to be ready for what life may throw at me. So reading about how I am not guaranteed tomorrow kind of made me stop and think. It’s not wrong for me to plan out my goals, but that does me no good if I don’t enjoy the day God gave me TODAY.
I’m sure there will be days I will forget this. I’m sure there will be bad days in which I find it extremely difficult to find something to be happy about. But one thing that one of the ladies in Bible class said that stuck with me and I will probably borrow a lot(thanks, Donna Crisp :)) is that these, right now, are the good ol’ days. Not a year ago, not last week, not five years from now. Today. These are the good ol’ days. I want to make sure I live them to the fullest of my capability. God has blessed me with so much! How can I not enjoy it?! I’m done wishing my life away. I’m done dying for the next thing. I will plan and pray that God blesses my plans, but I also need to realize that I will probably never be ready for any change life throws my way. But come what may, I’m going to do my best to be in the moment and to live my life fully for the Lord. After all, He’s the One who gave me life and I can trust that He will take care of me and carry me through it.